Having the State sort out your estate would potentially be more costly, challenging, and emotional for your loved ones than had an estate plan been established.  An arguably more important point to consider is what happens if, through a life event or accident, you’re left either temporarily or permanently disabled.  A Trust allows you to tell people how you would like things handled if you are temporarily or permanently unable to communicate for yourself.  A tragic story in Forbes Magazine emphasizes this point when a woman lost everything she owned when the State appointed a legal guardian while she was incapacitated (2).  There are no statistics regarding how many people become incapacitated to the point they need a guardian; however, estimates suggest that at any given time, 1.5 million people are in the process of receiving a legal guardian (3).    

I recently became the guardian of a close family friend who has dementia.  This experience inspired me to write the Estate Planning Series and create a few Estate Planning Tools, which I thought I would share.  This series explores some of the key elements I’m thinking about as I grow older.  Hopefully, some of this information will be useful for you as well.  This series is not intended to be comprehensive or all-inclusive but rather a reflection and lessons learned from my own experiences.  Feel free to use this as a foundation for conversations with your own family, friends, or professional service providers.       

Planning for the future is never fun or easy.  Whether we’re saving for college, planning for retirement, or thinking about a will, it requires time and money, neither of which comes easy.  That said, how many of us have found ourselves in a situation that, in hindsight, we wish we would have done differently?  Similarly, aging is inevitable; therefore, would you prefer the opportunity to express your thoughts and feelings, or would you prefer someone else to make all the decisions for you? 

Simply put, having a Will or Trust allows you to express your thoughts and wishes for you and your estate in the event of a tragedy.  Depending on your assets and stage of life, estate planning can be a relatively straightforward process.  It’s best to consult with an estate planning professional on your personal situation because the risks of not consulting with a professional can be significant.  Something to consider is including a personal letter in your estate plan.  A personal letter from you to the readers could go a long way in personalizing your thoughts and feelings on specific issues.    

I can’t tell you how thankful I was to have a Trust to guide me when I began my guardianship duties.  Thankfully, she had a comprehensive Trust expressing her thoughts and wishes for her entire estate.  Knowing and understanding how she wanted her estate to be managed allowed us to begin providing her with the help and support she needed.  Had she not planned ahead and created a Trust, we would have been left trying to guess what was best for her and her estate.  I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must be to support someone who is temporarily or permanently incapacitated and doesn’t have a Will or Trust.  Not knowing exactly how they would like their estate or themselves to be taken care of would be emotionally challenging. 

The natural aging process alone makes day-to-day tasks more challenging.  As our physical and mental capacity and capability decrease, we become more vulnerable to trips and falls, and tasks such as determining the difference between junk mail and bills become increasingly difficult.  This isn’t anything to be embarrassed about.  Like getting wrinkles and gray hair, physical and mental decline is a natural part of aging.  But with those challenges come a few benefits.  As we age, we also tend to become wiser, have more time for hobbies, and become emotionally more stable and happier.

Several things surprised me when I became a guardian.  In many situations, I felt like I was the only person in the world who was helping a dementia patient.  It was my experience that businesses and institutions do not have systems and processes in place to facilitate guardianship, and if they did, their employees lacked the training on how to provide any support.  In one case, I had to get a court order to facilitate fixing an account.  It was my experience that a Power of Attorney (POA) is essentially worthless.  If you know, you need a POA.  I would recommend working directly with the organization to ensure you meet the requirements of their internal policies.  My experience was that they usually had an internal form they wanted you to fill out to allow you to access the account.

Having experienced the process of becoming someone’s guardian, I strongly recommend that we all take the time to create a comprehensive estate plan.  October is National Estate Planning Awareness Month in America (4).  Consider reaching out to a professional and setting aside a few hours to discuss your personal situation to see if a Will or Trust is right for you.

Please feel free to share your own experiences and lessons learned in the comment box below.  Your shared thoughts may help someone else going through a similar experience.  Thank you.

1. Do you have a Will or Trust? Having one of these and knowing how to use them will relieve a lot of stress, if not for you, then for your family and friends.
2. Have you consulted with an Estate Planning Professional? Talking to a professional about the scenarios and variables, as well as the risks of not having a Will or Trust, goes a long way in making an informed decision.
3. Do the people you have designated in your Will or Trust know where it is located and what their role is? Keeping your Will or Trust in a safe and accessible place is critical to ensuring your wishes are followed.
4. Does your Will or Trust account for temporary or permanent inability to communicate? Unforeseen events are just that, unforeseen, and having a plan that allows trusted agents to care for you in the way you want is a relief for all parties involved.   
5. Do you have someone you can trust to help you determine when and what type of help you may need? Talking to your doctor or a trusted confidant can help a person sort through their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions, enabling them to make informed decisions. 

Do not complain about growing old.  It is a privilege denied to many (Mark Twain).

Good Luck and Stay Ready, My Friends.

RuReady Resources:

1. Estate Planning Organizer
2. Estate Planning Readiness Review
3. Estate Planning Series Resource List

 Amazon Books:

1. Peace of Mind Planner: Important Information about My Belongings, Business Affairs, and Wishes by Peter Pauper Press Inc (Author). I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants a hard copy planner.
2. Clever Fox End of Life Planner – Final Arrangements Organizer for Beneficiary, Will Preparation, Last Wishes & Funeral Planning. I highly recommend any of the other planners Cleaver Fox offers as a way of simplifying your life.

1. Gallup (2021, June 23). How Many Americans Have a Will?  https://news.gallup.com/poll/351500/how-many-americans-have-will.aspx
2. Forbes Magazine (2016, 23 May). Guardianship In The U.S.: Protection Or Exploitation?  https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2016/05/23/guardianship-in-the-u-s-protection-or-exploitation/?sh=648821253b49
3. Center For Elders and the Courts (2024, 15 Feb). Guardianship & Conservatorship https://www.eldersandcourts.org/guardianship_conservatorship/general-information/basics/data
4. American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys (2024, February 12). October – Estate Planning Awareness Month.  https://www.aaepa.com/2023/10/october-estate-planning-awareness-month/

Disclaimer: The information provided in this document is informational only and does not constitute professional advice or recommendation.