That said, I decided to share what I’ve learned about burial services for the people who may have strong thoughts or feelings on a particular element of the process so that you can plan accordingly.

There are two questions that, when answered, may determine the options for a final resting place.  The first question is burial or cremation, and the second is location.  As I came to learn, as cemeteries become fuller, they may restrict who can be buried in them.  You may have to prove you have relatives in the cemetery before they approve of the burial.  In my case, we wanted to use a shared family plot, which meant cremation was the only option, and we needed approval from all living relatives.  Regardless of whether you choose a traditional burial or cremation, the next question is what type of casket or urn to use. 

In my experience, the process of selecting and coordinating a final resting place took several days spread over several weeks.  Because I started the process before the time of need, I was able to coordinate all the details the family requested in a more thoughtful and less stressful way. 

Depending on a person’s military service, there may be other options available for a person’s final resting place.  For example, if a person has served in the military, they may qualify to be buried in a Veterans Administration (VA) cemetery or in a public cemetery paid for all or in part by the VA.  There is also the possibility that the VA may assist with the burial of the Servicemember’s spouse.  If someone is interested in this option, they would need to reach out to the VA to determine eligibility. 

Depending on a person’s financial situation, they may qualify for burial assistance from either a local government agency or a religious organization.  For example, in Colorado, burial assistance programs may be provided by the County where the decedent resided.  Catholic Funeral & Cemetery Services (CFCS) of Colorado offers a range of services, including funeral, cremation, cemetery, and burial services, to all faiths.

I want to close this series by mentioning that estate planning, and maybe more specifically planning for a funeral and burial services, is never easy under any circumstances.  That said, when thinking about these topics, in my opinion, there are a couple of things to keep in mind.  First, whether we like it or not, death is inevitable.  We can either plan for it and shape some of the inevitability or accept the unknown.  The second point I would like to mention is how much easier and less stressful it is to create an estate plan and make final arrangements when you don’t need them.  I can’t imagine how stressful it must feel when someone is thrust into a situation where they are making these decisions as quickly as possible. 

For me personally, I like to think of my trust and estate plan as my final gift to my family.  I hope that my trust and estate plan, to the extent possible, minimizes the stress and pain of an already painful and stressful situation.

1. P/F _____: Do you or your loved ones have strong thoughts or feelings on a final resting place? Have those thoughts been communicated to your loved ones, or are they included in your estate plan?  A consideration of the final resting place is an important element when taking a holistic approach to funeral arrangement planning. 

 _____: Assessment Grade

RuReady Resources:

1. The Last Chapter Series Organizer
2. The Last Chapter Series Readiness Review and Checklist
3. The Last Chapter Series Resource List

Additional Resources:

1. Remembering A Life. An affiliate of the National Funeral Directors Association, provides educational tools to help families understand the value of a funeral, plan a meaningful service, and begin the grief journey following the death of a loved one.  Resources include podcasts, book club, blogs, conversation cards, and thoughtful gifts for grieving family members and friends.